A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

12 in general

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

What is your name? My name is Jeff

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...