An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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FUCK YOU

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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