A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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