roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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