- Anti Joke

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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