- Anti Joke

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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