A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

i dont fisish anythi

Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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