-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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