Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops