You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

Jack Stevens

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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