Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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