What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Potassium? K.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops