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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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