What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Yo Mama just died.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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