Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops