Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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