Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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David Cameron

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops