what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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24

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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