Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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