What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

knock knock Goodbye

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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