A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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