Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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