What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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