what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

thumb_up thumb_down -44

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -48

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops