Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +8

race-car = rac-ecar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops