what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops