Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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