What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops