Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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