What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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