Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why so serious ?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops