Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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I'm Polish.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops