A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops