What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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