What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Manchester City

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops