What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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