Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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people magazine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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