Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Fine, ladies first.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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