What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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