I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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whats green and lives in the water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops