What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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