A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

thumb_up thumb_down -15

1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops