- Anti Joke

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??