What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

What's better than a stick? A stone

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

I'm going to rewrite history. History.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

Whats worse than suicide? death

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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