What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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