How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

One, two, three, four and five

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

Small Penis.

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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