What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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