Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A young baby died.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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meatspin.fr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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