Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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you will like this because i am black.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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