why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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knock knock who's there? faith

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops