Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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