Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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