How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Sex

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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