-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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