Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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